Okay, so I have this friend-ish person, well I guess we're friends but I can never tell, who invited me to a party this weekend. She's doesn't really know the people throwing the party but her boyfriend does, so I'll only know her, and she'll only know him. I already agreed to go, but I guess I'm just a little bit nervous because I wont know anyone besides her and I'm not exactly great with social situations. What will probably end up happening is that Aly will be hanging out with her boyfriend for most of the time and I'll just end up awkwardly being in someone else's conversation, not saying much because I never know what to say at times like that. Once I get to know people, I really don't have a problem talking to them or about anything. This also happens for texting/chatting. I'm actually quite charming in text, it's just the "in person" thing that I suck at.
The same thing goes for public speaking. I never know what to say, so I just don't say anything. People always think it's weird that I don't like public speaking or talking in large groups because I did a bunch of theatre and choir stuff in high school. Ask me to sing, act, or play piano in front of a couple thousand people and I'm game, but put me in a group of ten and I have absolutely no idea what to say or how to act. I feel like I don't really belong anywhere and I'm just drifting along. I want to be able to make friends and talk to people easily, I just get this mental block every time there's an opportunity to say something, or I'll think of something to say but I can't decide if I think it's weird or funny. I really do have opinions and things worth saying, I just can't do it.
I really need some help with this. If anyone happens to stumble across my blog and has advice, awesome or otherwise, I would greatly appreciate it.
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