The Transfer Essay!

I've written it. This is a lot farther than signing up for the common app.  This is tangible, solid, and I don't know if I'm even going to send it yet.  Who am I kidding?! I'm sending it.  I'm probably transferring.  I think the essay is pretty kick ass, or at least pretty honest, which should be good enough, right?

Productivity.

Yesterday, I wrote 8 essays.  They were rather short, but 8 essays leads to 10 hours.  On a Saturday.  So far today I've written about 1,000 words of one of my longer essays, but I haven't been working that long.  I'm hoping to get that one done pretty soon though so I can start editing and write my remaining two short essays.  And guess what comes next! First, three hours of studying for my history final, followed by another couple hours of studying for my drama final.  And then I get to review by my self and hope I'm prepared enough for tomorrow and edit all of my essays which are also for tomorrow.  This weekend has just been a big mess of caffeine, hi-lighters, pens, and a crazy mess of words that is sometimes mistaken for one of my essays.  I'll be excited to see my word count for this weekend.  Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Finals week is just so much fun, I can't believe it only comes a few times a year.

This is all that I've seen all weekend long. Isn't is grand?

The situation

Okay, so I have this friend-ish person, well I guess we're friends but I can never tell, who invited me to a party this weekend.  She's doesn't really know the people throwing the party but her boyfriend does, so I'll only know her, and she'll only know him.  I already agreed to go, but I guess I'm just a little bit nervous because I wont know anyone besides her and I'm not exactly great with social situations.  What will probably end up happening is that Aly will be hanging out with her boyfriend for most of the time and I'll just end up awkwardly being in someone else's conversation, not saying much because I never know what to say at times like that.  Once I get to know people, I really don't have a problem talking to them or about anything.  This also happens for texting/chatting.  I'm actually quite charming in text, it's just the "in person" thing that I suck at.
The same thing goes for public speaking.  I never know what to say, so I just don't say anything.  People always think it's weird that I don't like public speaking or talking in large groups because I did a bunch of theatre and choir stuff in high school.  Ask me to sing, act, or play piano in front of a couple thousand people and I'm game, but put me in a group of ten and I have absolutely no idea what to say or how to act.  I feel like I don't really belong anywhere and I'm just drifting along.  I want to be able to make friends and talk to people easily, I just get this mental block every time there's an opportunity to say something, or I'll think of something to say but I can't decide if I think it's weird or funny. I really do have opinions and things worth saying, I just can't do it.
I really need some help with this.  If anyone happens to stumble across my blog and has advice, awesome or otherwise, I would greatly appreciate it.