Well here I am, 5:40pm on a Monday night, procrastinating, wallowing, doing anything besides what I should be doing. The homework isn't even the only thing I'm avoiding. There's a whole other spectrum of problems that no one seems to mention about college! Maybe it's just me that didn't realize it, but I'm going to talk about it anyways. No one mentions just how difficult it is to make friends, and then once that happens, how difficult it is to keep those friends that you've only known for a few months(or less).
I blame my childhood, I went to school with a large group of the same people from 1st grade to 12th, which was great at the time, but now that I never see any of them I have finally realized that I have absolutely no idea how to go about making friends. I don't really fit into a specific group, or really my school at all. I go to SU and pretty much everyone is that fake sort of indie-liberal-let's-make-a-statement kind of people. And this isn't in the I-want-to-make-a-difference sort of way, so I can never really tell who is actually being sincere and themselves. I can't even make it through a day without wishing I was somewhere else, doing something else entirely.
It's definitely not the classes. My classes are all easy and somewhat entertaining. I can handle the work load and the studying easily. It's just the whole people aspect of the situation that I can't seem to grasp. Sometimes I feel like I'm just drifting through this year, not connecting with anything, just making my way without any sort of emotional attachments. I've never been very good at emotional attachments anyways, but I feel like by now I should have at least found something or someone that I feel some sort of connection to. The few friends I've started to make all have way more friends and acquaintances than I do, so we never really hang out. It's great for them and not a negative thing at all. It just leads to me spending a lot of my time alone.
So, all of this has led to this point in time, this blog, this post. Why? I don't really know why I decided that now was the time to begin my "college experience" blog, but it seems right. The first quarter is coming to a close and almost everyone has settled into a nice routine, complete with friends and clubs. I happen to be an outlier in this situation, therefore I'll share my quest for content-ness with the world. Hopefully it works out in the end.
