Things are going better for me so far this quarter. It's a new year which means a new spirit. Well, not really, it just seemed like a good thing to shoot for. As of this moment, I'm content. I'm just sitting in a coffee shop with my friend and we're working on homework and chatting. These are the times that I like Seattle U, but then there are the weekends or days like my last weekend. I watched 2 seasons of Grey's Anatomy, ate a box of pizza pockets, and an entire bag of dove chocolates. Sometimes I'm just too anti-social for my own good. Other times, I want to be social, but I'm just really bad with people skills.
I do think that I'll stay at the school for at least another year. If I still don't like it, I'll transfer after that, but I really like the location and Seattle in general. I think if I just work on putting myself out there more and meeting new people I'll be a lot happier.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The Transfer Essay!
I've written it. This is a lot farther than signing up for the common app. This is tangible, solid, and I don't know if I'm even going to send it yet. Who am I kidding?! I'm sending it. I'm probably transferring. I think the essay is pretty kick ass, or at least pretty honest, which should be good enough, right?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Productivity.
Yesterday, I wrote 8 essays. They were rather short, but 8 essays leads to 10 hours. On a Saturday. So far today I've written about 1,000 words of one of my longer essays, but I haven't been working that long. I'm hoping to get that one done pretty soon though so I can start editing and write my remaining two short essays. And guess what comes next! First, three hours of studying for my history final, followed by another couple hours of studying for my drama final. And then I get to review by my self and hope I'm prepared enough for tomorrow and edit all of my essays which are also for tomorrow. This weekend has just been a big mess of caffeine, hi-lighters, pens, and a crazy mess of words that is sometimes mistaken for one of my essays. I'll be excited to see my word count for this weekend. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.
Finals week is just so much fun, I can't believe it only comes a few times a year.
Finals week is just so much fun, I can't believe it only comes a few times a year.
This is all that I've seen all weekend long. Isn't is grand?
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The situation
Okay, so I have this friend-ish person, well I guess we're friends but I can never tell, who invited me to a party this weekend. She's doesn't really know the people throwing the party but her boyfriend does, so I'll only know her, and she'll only know him. I already agreed to go, but I guess I'm just a little bit nervous because I wont know anyone besides her and I'm not exactly great with social situations. What will probably end up happening is that Aly will be hanging out with her boyfriend for most of the time and I'll just end up awkwardly being in someone else's conversation, not saying much because I never know what to say at times like that. Once I get to know people, I really don't have a problem talking to them or about anything. This also happens for texting/chatting. I'm actually quite charming in text, it's just the "in person" thing that I suck at.
The same thing goes for public speaking. I never know what to say, so I just don't say anything. People always think it's weird that I don't like public speaking or talking in large groups because I did a bunch of theatre and choir stuff in high school. Ask me to sing, act, or play piano in front of a couple thousand people and I'm game, but put me in a group of ten and I have absolutely no idea what to say or how to act. I feel like I don't really belong anywhere and I'm just drifting along. I want to be able to make friends and talk to people easily, I just get this mental block every time there's an opportunity to say something, or I'll think of something to say but I can't decide if I think it's weird or funny. I really do have opinions and things worth saying, I just can't do it.
I really need some help with this. If anyone happens to stumble across my blog and has advice, awesome or otherwise, I would greatly appreciate it.
The same thing goes for public speaking. I never know what to say, so I just don't say anything. People always think it's weird that I don't like public speaking or talking in large groups because I did a bunch of theatre and choir stuff in high school. Ask me to sing, act, or play piano in front of a couple thousand people and I'm game, but put me in a group of ten and I have absolutely no idea what to say or how to act. I feel like I don't really belong anywhere and I'm just drifting along. I want to be able to make friends and talk to people easily, I just get this mental block every time there's an opportunity to say something, or I'll think of something to say but I can't decide if I think it's weird or funny. I really do have opinions and things worth saying, I just can't do it.
I really need some help with this. If anyone happens to stumble across my blog and has advice, awesome or otherwise, I would greatly appreciate it.
Monday, November 29, 2010
College
Well here I am, 5:40pm on a Monday night, procrastinating, wallowing, doing anything besides what I should be doing. The homework isn't even the only thing I'm avoiding. There's a whole other spectrum of problems that no one seems to mention about college! Maybe it's just me that didn't realize it, but I'm going to talk about it anyways. No one mentions just how difficult it is to make friends, and then once that happens, how difficult it is to keep those friends that you've only known for a few months(or less).
I blame my childhood, I went to school with a large group of the same people from 1st grade to 12th, which was great at the time, but now that I never see any of them I have finally realized that I have absolutely no idea how to go about making friends. I don't really fit into a specific group, or really my school at all. I go to SU and pretty much everyone is that fake sort of indie-liberal-let's-make-a-statement kind of people. And this isn't in the I-want-to-make-a-difference sort of way, so I can never really tell who is actually being sincere and themselves. I can't even make it through a day without wishing I was somewhere else, doing something else entirely.
It's definitely not the classes. My classes are all easy and somewhat entertaining. I can handle the work load and the studying easily. It's just the whole people aspect of the situation that I can't seem to grasp. Sometimes I feel like I'm just drifting through this year, not connecting with anything, just making my way without any sort of emotional attachments. I've never been very good at emotional attachments anyways, but I feel like by now I should have at least found something or someone that I feel some sort of connection to. The few friends I've started to make all have way more friends and acquaintances than I do, so we never really hang out. It's great for them and not a negative thing at all. It just leads to me spending a lot of my time alone.
So, all of this has led to this point in time, this blog, this post. Why? I don't really know why I decided that now was the time to begin my "college experience" blog, but it seems right. The first quarter is coming to a close and almost everyone has settled into a nice routine, complete with friends and clubs. I happen to be an outlier in this situation, therefore I'll share my quest for content-ness with the world. Hopefully it works out in the end.
I blame my childhood, I went to school with a large group of the same people from 1st grade to 12th, which was great at the time, but now that I never see any of them I have finally realized that I have absolutely no idea how to go about making friends. I don't really fit into a specific group, or really my school at all. I go to SU and pretty much everyone is that fake sort of indie-liberal-let's-make-a-statement kind of people. And this isn't in the I-want-to-make-a-difference sort of way, so I can never really tell who is actually being sincere and themselves. I can't even make it through a day without wishing I was somewhere else, doing something else entirely.
It's definitely not the classes. My classes are all easy and somewhat entertaining. I can handle the work load and the studying easily. It's just the whole people aspect of the situation that I can't seem to grasp. Sometimes I feel like I'm just drifting through this year, not connecting with anything, just making my way without any sort of emotional attachments. I've never been very good at emotional attachments anyways, but I feel like by now I should have at least found something or someone that I feel some sort of connection to. The few friends I've started to make all have way more friends and acquaintances than I do, so we never really hang out. It's great for them and not a negative thing at all. It just leads to me spending a lot of my time alone.
So, all of this has led to this point in time, this blog, this post. Why? I don't really know why I decided that now was the time to begin my "college experience" blog, but it seems right. The first quarter is coming to a close and almost everyone has settled into a nice routine, complete with friends and clubs. I happen to be an outlier in this situation, therefore I'll share my quest for content-ness with the world. Hopefully it works out in the end.
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